How to Talk to Your Kids about Your Divorce by Samantha Rodman

Author:Samantha Rodman [Rodman, Samantha]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: F+W Media

Another example, for an older child, is:

“I have realized that I am drinking too much alcohol and it’s hard for me to stop. When I drink I usually go into my room and don’t feel well, and that’s why I don’t come out and play or see you the next morning, because I feel sick after I drink. I am going to start getting help and working on how much I drink. I love you and I am sorry that I acted how I did.”

Keep in mind that being open and apologizing for your past behavior (whether it is your own behavior or allowing your child to witness your co-parent’s dysfunctional behavior) are essential to teaching your child that what you did was not normal and not okay. Both addiction and mental illness are highly heritable, and if your child has inherited your or your co-parent’s predisposition to either one, you want to model an open, help-seeking way of dealing with these issues. This can break the cycle of untreated addiction or mental illness that is often passed from generation to generation.

In addition to changing how you talk about mental illness and addiction with your child, there are other ways to help your child process her experiences. First, your child needs to see a therapist in order to make sense of what she has witnessed. It is very helpful for children to have an objective, warm, supportive presence that can help them figure out what is normal and what is not, a difficult task for kids who grow up around untreated mental illness or addiction. Teenagers may want to attend support groups, such as Alateen, the teen version of Al-Anon, which is a support group for people whose loved ones suffer from addiction. Alateen even has meetings online, and can be very helpful for teens struggling with anger, depression, and other feelings surrounding a parent’s substance abuse.

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